We’re going to go for an aesthetic here – right now I’m calling it “Urban Grandma.” The balcony currently holds refreshing views, urban chic building details, and furniture you would expect to find in your grandparents’ garage. Just wait – it’ll be all the rage on TikTok soon enough! Full disclosure, the background image for the title features a public domain photo of not my grandma, but her old shorts chic outfit and mop really captures the pathos of this new aesthetic movement.
After sweeping, I brought out a handful of things from my previous apartment and started staging the open space. A rocking chair overlooks the green area and the parking lot for casual people watching, and a stainless steel worktable that used to be a kitchen counter is now ready to hold plants. An old patio lock box and disused filing cabinet are ready to hold gardening tools, and a couple of folding camp tables can be pulled out for hosting. Don’t mind the busted handle on the filing cabinet, I’ll find a replacement screw somewhere!
My favorite part of the arrangement is this decorative candleholder, originally a bunco prize won by my mother. Maybe bunco is unique to the military community. Prize sizes may vary, but bunco parties are generally large gatherings of military wives. It’s basically an excuse for people to get together, consume varying amounts of wine, and share in some light gambling – all in all, a great time! Highly recommend as a community-building event.
This particular piece was probably intended for indoor use, but it’s held up well over the years. If it eventually becomes too rusted, I’ll clear it off. The leaf patterns make me smile, and having lightly scented tealights on a warm evening is exactly the kind of comfort I’m looking for in this space. If anyone knows where to find citronella tealights, let me know! I’d love to boost my mosquito-fighting game.
The next step in this project is setting up cat protection. The little man is too curious for his own good, and I have to physically stop him from going through the railing during his supervised balcony time. I also had to stop him from going over the side to nose through the clover next door. My initial plan was to get some kind of trellis staged in the “window” and a mesh wrap for the railing. But how to complete the urban grandma aesthetic?
This is what I wanted for the railing: Naturae Decor Green Leaf Trellis. Unfortunately, that is $45 and this is Dirt Cheap Haven. My first thought was to save money by purchasing outdoor fabric to make a cover for the railing, then finding a wooden trellis for the window. The fabric would be cheap, but I would have had to buy grommets and a grommet tool as well. That would have driven up the screen cost back to the original $45 range (not counting the window trellis), plus adding a bunch of labor. I also considered getting a magnetic garage door screen for the balcony window. While it would have solved the issue of no hooks at the bottom of the concrete “frame”, those screens are pretty much only useful for the specific point of installation. If I move in a couple years, it would be difficult to repurpose or resell the material.
Instead, I scouted alternatives and found this mesh garden netting and zip ties for $15.99 at Walmart and some heavy-duty outdoor Velcro on Amazon for $18.95. While $10.50 might not seem like a big savings, these purchases leave me with plenty of additional material for other projects, unlike the original leaf trellis. Given the hassle of installing any kind of screen, I also felt it was worth springing for name-brand velcro.
I was dead set on weaving some waterfall lights into the window screen when I started this, but I fell in love with the invisible effect of the screen. Unless you are standing at exactly the right angle, it doesn’t look like there’s anything there at all! I love the feeling of knowing there are security features in place without sacrificing any visibility. When I get plants, the netting on the balcony railing will allow plants on the ground full access to light and the window netting can supplement stronger bean or pea trellises. The mesh itself is reusable and can be repurposed elsewhere if needed.
Overall, I’m pretty pleased with this initial project. It’s not fancy, but it meets the goal of minimizing clutter and protecting the cat from himself. As time goes on, I’ll start planning where planters will go and adjust the screen to fit! In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy my elderflower-scented tea lights from the rocking chair.
Dirt Cheap Haven 
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